Fearing of Missing Out
This now-popular acronym (FOMO) refers to our reluctance to go "off the grid." The recent disappearance of Flight 370, however, gave the author of this essay a chance to reflect upon our pursuit of non-interrupted connectivity.
For myself, I don't like the feeling of being connected. Growing up, I never wanted a pager, but when I was 16 I got one because my younger sister wanted one so I got one too. My parents' rationale was that they thought I would be offended. (At least that's what they told me. They probably derived comfort from it.) The same scenario played out with my first cell phone. I never wanted one. My sister did. So I got one before I left for college. Now, I will intentionally leave my phone at home sometimes. And when I forget it unintentionally, it rarely bothers me. I don't feel any need to stay digitally connected. Like the author said, "There’s a new-age comfort in pulling yourself away, in finding recluse from the distracting din of connectedness." I think I like to find such recluse more often than most.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if I'm being honest, there was one statement that makes me reconsider my stance. "Seeing your child on a map as he walks to school offers some reassurance that he’s O.K." With my young son now the centerpiece of my life, I would undoubtedly feel such comfort in knowing he's somewhere where I'm pretty sure he's safe. But I feel that's a slippery slope too. This feeling of connectedness is contradictory to a feeling of self-reliance and inhibits experimentation. When I was a kid, my friends and I used to walk into the woods around the Kensico reservoir. Somewhere, maybe a 1/2 mile to a mile into those woods, was a vine that hung some 20 or 30 feet from a tree. My friends and I used to swing on that. It was illegal. We were trespassing. It was very unsafe. We would swing dozens of feet off the ground. But I'm no worse for wear and neither were any of my friends. That's what kids are supposed to do. They experiment. They get hurt. They learn. If my parents tracked me there on my lojacked cell phone, would they have come to get me? Maybe. Maybe not. But if they did, would I have gained whatever learning experiences I got from that type of play? That feeling of expanding my boundaries and testing limits is crucial to kids. I might track my son, but if I do, I will be very careful not to let it make me and my wife a super-updated version of the helicopter parent.
Regardless, I have never personally felt the "terror" of being disconnected and I really hope that I don't feel such terror if I forget to check whatever tech is tracking my son.
I don't know exactly when "it" happened. "It" is just what the author of the essay wrote about. I have this fear of having my family not be able to reach me. I have an 11 month old and a 3 year old. They are my "excuse" that I always keep my phone in my pocket on vibrate and look at it whenever it vibrates. Then, when I can, I text whoever it is back very soon. Usually it's about the kids, but sometimes it's about what's for dinner. Since I am always looking at it, it's hard to make a distinction between what needs to be answered right away even though I try. I feel obligated to text back quickly because my wife knows also that I carry my phone everywhere. So I suppose that it's not a fear of missing out on something, but a fear of not being available if someone needs me. Thinking about this makes me have some more compassion for my high school students who check their phones 50 times a day. I've asked a few students about it and several said something similar that they feel obligated to text back right away (even while driving). Much food for thought, though. Thanks to Brian for the reminder that kids are resilient and need to go through experiences themselves to learn and test limits. I need to work on trust a bit more and maybe I can let go a bit.
ReplyDeleteI really can’t relate to “FOMO”. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely enjoy the technology that allows me to communicate with my daughter, husband, family members, friends, etc., regardless of where I might be. I also appreciate the GPS technology in my car and my phone that facilitates me getting around in unknown or new places. I don’t feel; however, the need to respond to text messages right away, I absolutely hate, and always have (even as a teen), talking on the phone, and I have no interest in keeping up with any kind of social media page. I respect technology for the convenience and practical applications it affords us, but not because I need to feel “connected”. For me “connectedness” is achieved in the “in person” interactions and conversations I have with people.
ReplyDeleteBeing connected is part of my generation. I am constantly communicating with my family and friends, using my GPS, texting, reading and learning using 21st century technologies. Yes, once in a while it feels good not to be connected but overall this is the world that I live in.
ReplyDeleteOver the years I have, begrudgingly, become more reliant on technology. I, until 4 years ago, carried a flip phone as a way to protest that constant need to check in on social media and through email. I also haven't had a television since I was 18. I enjoyed the solace of not having my whereabouts constantly monitored or being "plugged in". I often try on the weekends to not bring my phone with me, though it does cause me a lot of anxiety. It's interesting how quickly we become dependent on the immediate contact and how the rest of the world doesn't allow you to stay off the grid too long (due to others' needs for immediate responses). I still spend a couple of weeks every summer in a remote area of Michigan but, as soon as I am back around a cell tower, on goes the phone.
ReplyDeleteI like many others am not quite sure when "it" happened. I got my first cell phone in middle school. It of course had few functions, but worked as a phone. From the time I received my phone, I was told that it was there in case of an emergency. Somewhere along the line, it became more of a device of convenience and of necessity. I do feel the need to have it on me at all times and without it have a fear of someone not being able to reach me in the event of an emergency. It is so interesting to think of the evolution of the cell phone in my life.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in the technology age, and therefore it has become a large part of my life. I got my first cellphone at 16 because my parents wanted to know if there was ever an emergency they would be able to contact me or vice versa. However, when I was younger I was not as dependent on my phone or technology as I am today. I believe this is due to the fact that today we are all so “plugged in” all the time. But, when I get a chance to unplug my phone and turn it off I enjoy it. I love the time being away from the digital world and have some peace and quiet.
ReplyDeleteI am always afraid that I won't be able to call for help, however, I enjoy being unreachable at certain times. I think being connected at all times is rather scary. We can check in everywhere (apps like Yelp, Facebook, Four Square, Twitter, Instagram) and it almost seems like not much is sacred. Some people over share, others focus on specific things. Long story short, I find it refreshing to be able to turn off from the constant connection. However, the situation with this flight makes me question a lot of things related to technology.
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